Abuse by Proxy

People who abuse by proxy will often get their friends, families, co-workers and others involved without their knowledge. They will setup situations in which everyone gets embarrassed, and will greatly manipulate their victims. At the end of the day, everyone gets hurt.

One way to for a person to do harm by proxy is to setup situations and circumstances where someone is harmed, embarrassed, or humiliated. Abusers will often get people to work for them, often against their will or without their knowledge.


1. The victim’s surroundings

Sometimes, people in the victim’s life have no idea how deceitful or manipulative the abuser is, and they are bound to ignore any warning signs. The victim is constantly suspected to be wrong, and those closest to them don’t trust them anymore. This is all due to the abuser’s actions.

Of course, when confronted with two parties – one relaxed and controlled, while the other hysterical and terrified – it is not difficult for someone to think that the victim is actually the abuser. Abuser’s typically have self-control in public situations, and can wriggle their way out of any difficult scenario.

2. The abuser’s surroundings

Abusers will often get friends, co-workers and family members involved in their harmful actions, especially if they are from a particularly sexist or misogynistic background. In the most extreme examples, victims are held against their will.

3. The System

A good abuser will use the system against the victim. They will break apart the family, and make it seem as if they are the real victim, when in reality, they have done nothing but manipulate and cause harm. Judges, the police, and marriage counsellors have all been fooled by this type of personality.

Examples of Abuse by Proxy
Examples of abuse by proxy are doing things such spreading nasty rumours about the victim, and thoroughly discrediting them socially.

Stalking and harassing the victim are also typical forms of abuse. Other forms of abuse are: accusing the victim of crimes they did not commit; provoking the victim to lash out or use antisocial behaviour; and conspiring with others to make the victim depend on the abuser.